Feeling stuck is more common than you think.
Whether it’s a new year, a new semester, the end of a relationship, giving birth, or hitting burnout, you might be struggling with how to get unstuck.
And first of all, that’s totally normal.
Normal doesn’t mean lazy; it means human. Feeling stuck is often a sign that your system is recovering and recalibrating after burnout, time away, or a major life change. And as a woman in tech, you are not just managing your own expectations. You are often navigating performance pressure, visibility, bias, and the quiet expectation to prove yourself constantly. That adds weight.
So if you feel behind (which you aren’t), overwhelmed (which is valid), or unsure of what to do next, those feelings aren’t failures. They are signals that your capacity is temporarily reduced, not that you are incapable.
This guide will help you figure out what ‘unstuck’ actually looks like right now.
How to Ease Back Into Work or School After Time Away
For each person, it’s different. Everyone has a different timeline and pace for getting back on track, and what works for you might not work for others.
Everyone has a different amount of energy they can pull from.
In tech spaces, especially those where you may be one of the only women in the room, returning after time away can feel amplified. You might feel like you have to re prove your competence immediately. You do not. Competence does not disappear because you need rest.
How do I get unstuck without burning myself out?
One way to look at it is through the Spoon Theory. This is a really common analogy in the chronic illness and neurodivergent communities, but it applies to everyone. Essentially, you have a certain number of spoons for the day. Factors such as sleep, nutrition, and emotional bandwidth can affect the number of spoons you have in a given day.
When you’re getting back on track, things that previously might’ve taken very little energy might be harder, as it’s not something you’re used to.
For example on a Monday after a restful weekend where you got enough sleep, ate healthy, and recouped your body, you might have 25 spoons and a meeting with your boss or advisor only takes about 2 spoons out of that (leaving you with plenty of spoons for the rest of your tasks), but on a Monday after a weekend of traveling, airport food, and massive amounts of socialization, you might only have 12 spoons available for the day. And a meeting with your boss or advisor takes most of them, leaving you with just a few spoons to complete your day.
When you come back to work or school after time away, you probably don’t have as many spoons, and that’s totally fine. Don’t push past the number of spoons you have. Don’t overwhelm yourself.
This is why we focus on energy, not productivity.
Example: What a Low Spoon Day Can Look Like
A low-spoon day is common. As women in tech, you are often balancing high cognitive load, imposter syndrome, emotional labor, and pressure to perform in spaces that were not built for you.
That matters.
What should I do on a low-energy day?
A low-spoon day is common. As women in tech, you are often balancing high cognitive load, imposter syndrome, emotional labor, and pressure to perform in spaces that were not built for you.
That matters.
A realistic low spoon day
You wake up knowing your capacity is limited. Maybe you are coming back from burnout, a break, or just a mentally heavy week.
Your focus for the day
- One task that moves you forward, even slightly
- One task that keeps things from piling up
- One intentional rest or recovery moment
What that might look like
- Log on and respond only to messages that truly require a response today.
- Attend one class, meeting, or standup, cameras off if you need to
- Work on one defined task like debugging a single issue, reviewing lecture notes, or outlining an assignment.
- Take a walk, stretch, or step away without trying to be “productive” at the same time.
- Log off without compensating later.
Everything else can wait.
This approach is grounded in Cognitive Load Theory, which explains that our working memory is limited. When we overload it, learning, problem-solving, and performance suffer. Protecting your mental bandwidth actually supports long-term success, especially in technical fields that require sustained focus.
If this feels ‘too small,’ that’s the point.
This is especially important in technical fields. Debugging, system design, learning new frameworks, and problem solving require deep focus. When you are also navigating bias, self doubt, or social dynamics, your working memory is already doing extra work. Protecting your energy is not indulgent. It is professional sustainability.
How to Rebuild Momentum Without Overwhelming Yourself
In the previous section, we talked about spoons as a way to visualize your mental energy load. One major way of building your energy load up (or the number of spoons you have, if you like the spoon analogy), is through routines.
Routines are scientifically proven to help reduce decision fatigue, making your energy more available for other areas of your life.
Okay, but how do you actually build routines?
Two words: Habit Stacking
You already have certain work or school habits. Even with time away, they’re probably there.
You sit down in a chair at your desk, and what do you do next?
You open your laptop.
The ‘sit down in a chair’ is one task you have to do, and ‘open your laptop’ is a habit that you’ve stacked on it.
When you’re building routines, stack onto habits you already have, so you don’t spend spoons deciding what to do next.
Even with time away, there are probably some habits that you’ve continued to do. Utilize those. Don’t try to fill your plate too quickly. Think about the old nursery rhyme, the tortoise and the hare: did the hare win when he rushed to the finish line? No.
The tortoise, at his own pace, won because he did what was best for him.
Keep that in mind when you’re coming back from time off.
Example: What Easing Back Into a Week Can Look Like (especially for Women in Tech)
Coming back to work or school after time away does not require you to “prove” anything. The goal is to rebuild confidence and capacity without triggering overwhelm.
This is where pacing matters.
How should I ease back into work or school after time away?
Monday: Reorientation, not pressure
- Review deadlines, assignments, or sprint goals without having to tackle everything.
- Reconnect with your tools, codebase, or coursework.
- Do one familiar task to remind yourself that you still know what you are doing
Tuesday and Wednesday: Light structure
- Reintroduce one or two routines you already had before time away.
- Work in shorter focus blocks with clear stopping points
- Avoid adding new commitments unless absolutely necessary.
If this feels like enough, it is.
Thursday: Moderate engagement
- Take on one slightly more demanding task, like a longer coding session, exam prep block, or project milestone.
- Check in with your energy before committing to more.
Friday: Reflection and recovery
- Notice what gave you energy and what drained it.
- Write down one thing you want to repeat next week.
- End the week intentionally, not by pushing until you crash.
You get to decide what stays.
You Are Not Behind, You Are Restarting
Restarts are not regressions. You still have habits and routines you built before; they just need to be reinvigorated sustainably.
If you want deeper support around rebuilding momentum, Atomic Habits by James Clear offers practical tools for making small, consistent changes that compound over time. And How to Change by Katy Milkman breaks down the science behind behavior change, including why timing, environment, and self-compassion matter more than willpower alone. Both reinforce the same truth: lasting progress is built gently.
Recognize that your progress is different from everyone else’s. You define what progress looks like for you.
Especially in an industry that measures worth in output and speed, choosing a pace that protects your well-being is powerful. You belong in tech not because you overwork yourself, but because of your skill, perspective, and persistence.
Restarting is easier when you are not doing it alone. Connect with the RTC community and surround yourself with women in tech who understand the journey.