You’ve been thinking about it for months. Maybe longer. What actually happens to your career when you have a kid?
Maria Piro, Senior Product Manager and mom, felt those fears. “Before I had my daughter, my biggest fear was that I would be perceived as less productive or less committed than my colleagues.”
The fear is legitimate. But it’s not the whole story, either.
Tech Talent Charter reports that nearly 40% of women leaving tech cite caring responsibilities as a reason. The difference often comes down to where you work and how you set yourself up.
We’re here to show you how.
What Changes and What Gets Better
Let’s hear about the reality of having a kid from a mom herself:
“What struck me most is how much mental load expands after having a child. Even while working, there’s always a parallel track running in your mind — milestones, daycare, doctor’s appointments, clothes, social development. It can make it harder to feel as mentally ‘sharp’ as I did before,” Maria says.
But she counters that with, “At the same time, work has become more focused. I don’t have unlimited time anymore, so I’m much more decisive about priorities. I’m better at cutting through noise, focusing on what actually matters, and executing quickly. In a way, motherhood forced me to become more efficient and intentional with my time.”
No matter what, having a child will change your life. You have another person who completely relies on you (which is so exciting!) and more responsibilities.
The mental load is real. But so is the recalibration. Most moms in tech will tell you the version of themselves that comes out the other side is sharper about what actually matters, at work and everywhere else.
What to Look For Before You Accept an Offer
Make sure your company’s maternity leave policy is mom-friendly. Is it just 8 weeks and then you’re back in the office? Are you a remote organization, or can you work remotely after those 8 weeks? Do you have more than 8 weeks? Are there any childcare stipends?
To give you a benchmark, some leading tech companies have set the bar higher: for example, Google offers up to 24 weeks of paid leave for birth parents, and Microsoft provides 20 weeks of paid maternity leave plus generous parental support resources. Other startups have begun to offer things like childcare stipends or backup care services. Comparing a potential employer’s policies with these real-world examples can help you get a sense of what’s possible.
To find out, ask about these policies in interviews, check recent company reviews online, or connect directly with current employees to get their perspectives. Taking these steps can help you get a realistic sense of how the company actually supports parents.
But, as Maria puts it, “the real test isn’t the leave itself, it’s what happens after you return.”
Ongoing flexibility and cultural support matter more in the long run than the leave policy itself.
“I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have managers over the past several years who are also parents. That has made a huge difference. They’ve not only been understanding when challenges come up, but they’ve actively supported my career growth, encouraging me to take on high-impact, strategic work and continuing to invest in my development,” she says.
Having a culture that celebrates parenthood is key.
But also, just as importantly, Maria says, “they’ve shared practical advice from their own experiences navigating similar stages of life. That combination of empathy and high expectations has been key. It’s allowed me to feel supported without feeling sidelined.”
Practical things, such as hybrid work and core working hours (i.e., an org-wide expectation that meetings not be scheduled outside certain timeframes), are a game-changer for moms in tech. Parent employee resource groups, backup childcare services, mental health resources, and access to parenting or lactation rooms are also valuable supports to look for when evaluating a company. These are the kinds of benefits and community spaces that can make a real difference in your day-to-day work as a parent.
When interviewing, it can be helpful to ask directly about these supports so you get a clear idea of what the company offers. For example, you might say: “Can you tell me more about how your company supports working parents? Are there any employee resource groups, backup childcare options, or flexible work arrangements in place?” Or: “What does your company do to help employees balance their professional responsibilities with family commitments?” Asking these questions will not only give you more insight into the company’s culture but also show you are thoughtful and proactive about finding the right environment for your needs.
→ Read: How to Find a Company that is a Cultural Fit
→ Read: Values-Based Job Search
The Biggest Piece of Advice
If there’s one thing that separates the moms in tech who are thriving from those who are burning out, it’s intentionality. Not hustle. Not perfection. The deliberate decision to build a life that can hold both things.
“As a mom, you often carry a disproportionate share of the mental and logistical load, and when you pair that with an ambitious career in tech, it can be incredibly demanding. It requires a lot of planning, organization, and resilience,” Maria says. “At the same time, it’s absolutely worth it. You just have to be intentional about building a support system, both personally and professionally, and focus your energy on the people and environments that do understand and support you. Tech also requires you to stay current and continuously learn, which can feel overwhelming alongside parenting. But if you treat that as part of your routine, something you plan for rather than squeeze in, it becomes manageable.”
You don’t have to choose. The right company will not make you.
Your career doesn’t have to end when the baby begins. If you’re still working through what that looks like for you, reach out to our mentors. We’ve got moms in tech who’ve navigated this exact situation, and they’d love to talk.